We’re in week two of our Table Talk series, discussing questions prompted by our books. Here’s ours for this week:
In SUNRISE ON THE BATTERY by Beth Webb Hart, Mary Lynn is climbing Charleston’s social ladder when her husband derails her dreams. Have you ever chosen between your dream and a loved one?
I had to think a little harder on this question, because I can’t recall a time when I had to choose between a dream and a loved one, as in one or the other. It’s been more like a series of concessions: give a little here, take a little there and somehow it all works out.
It was true of my dream of writing. I’d been home with our kids for years, giving my best to my family, putting them first, sacrificing my desires to make sure that they had what they needed– all the while dreaming deep, deep down in a secret place in my heart of writing a whole novel, start to finish.
But I didn’t think I’d do it. Because my family took a lot of my time. And they needed me (insert heart-felt martyr voice here). And if I hid behind them, I wouldn’t actually have to do anything. I could just wish, and daydream. And keep hiding. It was safer that way.
But that old dream just kept bubbling up to the surface no matter how much I pushed it back down. And over time I started realizing that unless I did something about it it was just going to keep nagging at me like the laundry or the dishes. Staring me down in that impertinent way it had.
So I started writing this one story I had on my heart. And I kept writing and writing until I reached “the end.” And through that process I found that I could write while my kids were playing or when they were gone or when I snuck off for a few hours alone. I could learn to disappear into my story world and then come back to my family, different but better. And they were okay and no one seemed to sustain any sort of lasting damage over it. And in the end I had a whole book, an accomplishment I never thought I’d check off my bucket list, a dream fulfilled even if it never saw the light of publication.
But y’all know the rest of the story. It did and, three books later, I’m actively pursuing my dream of being a novelist. And I’ve found other friends who also write novels while raising families, like the Belles here. We share ideas about how to do that without sacrificing what’s most important. And we assure each other that it will all work out. Because it does.
No, I’ve never had to choose between someone I loved and a dream. Instead my loved ones have supported me as I pursued my dreams, and I’ve learned to keep them in their rightful place while I did. There was a pretty huge learning curve, but we’ve survived the twists and turns so far.
Marybeth and her husband Curt are raising six kids and teaching them to pursue their God-given dreams, hopefully leading by example. The family lives in North Carolina. Marybeth is the author of three novels and sets them all close to home. You can find her at www.marybethwhalen.com or www.shereads.org