Free Thinking

The music coming over the McDonalds speakers transported me to a different time in my life. A different city. A different era. A different me.

Music is such a powerful medium. It transports. Moves the heart. Stirs emotions. Like the time I was in a Spinning class and she played techno-disco. I wanted to punch the instructor. The music made me so angry. She’d urge us to pedal hard, push, don’t give up. And my heart responded, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Rebellion.

If you think music doesn’t impact the heart and mind, think again.

So, today, the music took me back 30 years in my mind. I wondered about my old Cutler Ridge Publix friends. I kept in touch with Lorena for years after. Until recently, we exchanged Christmas cards.

Though I’m very tired from an all night editing session, a new story started forming in my heart. A girl trying to recapture her past. Wanting to go back because the future seems so bleak.

At 4:45 a.m. I crawled into bed, physcially hurting and thinking I might never write again. By 1:00 p.m. when I woke up, I knew I would.

There is something about writing that completes me. God and I are together in this. There’s the completion.

Sunday morning at the Dallas ACFW conference, Liz Curtis Higgs prayed a closing prayer. When she did, I went to this unique place where I truly felt I was His favorite one. I couldn’t perceive it any other way.

In some ways, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. In other ways, I know my destiny. I have a sense of where my writing is going. Which is hard because I look around at all the wonderful, fabulous authors – published and unpublished – and wondery “why me?”

But, “why NOT me?”

There is a laying hold of in this world Christians have not always grasped. We either do nothing, sitting back waiting for God to do it all, or we run completely ahead of Him and live our life our way on our time and don’t consider His heart.

We take His name in vain. Like a bride who takes her grooms name, then walks away. “Check ya later. Give me a call when you want to get together. Oh, I’ll need some money from you. Can you just send a check?”

Doesn’t work that way. We have to participate in the relationship – face to face, eye to eye. Think about it. What will HE not give us? He freely gave us His Son. How will he not freely give us all things? Romans 8:31-32.

BUT, you have to be in the relationship. If you can’t grasp it, picture a marriage you admire. What’s going on there? Apply it to your relationship with God.

On the flip side, there’s the set that goes, “well, I’m just waiting on God,” and next thing you know, their dead. What happened? You did nothing for God.

Let’s not be in either camp – the one that runs too far ahead in their own strength, nor the one that sits on their hands, um, in their own strength. Both are flesh.

ACFW Conference – So many wonderful things about this conference. It’s right up there with Houston 2003. Liz Curtis Higgs was fab. Seeing my friends, meeting new ones. My giant 3 room suite. (Hint: President if fun at conference time.)

Seeing the elcetic worship band come together. I’m SO proud of them: Denise, Gail, Scott, Kristin and Cynthia. Of course, my boy Dave. 🙂 Thank you all so much.

Sitting in on a GirlsWriteOut brainstorm session. Very fun, then getting some help from the for my next story.

Sunday afternoon brainstorm with Susie and Chris. I loved they way we interact with each other. “No! Wait! Stop!” We got a lot done for Susie’s story, and a good start on mine. Thank you guys!

It was wonderful to be with the Board and the Advisors. Great to spend time with Sydney, our coordinator.

Salad with my sweet friend, and publicists extraordinaire, Jeane Wynn!

Dinner Friday night with Amanda Bostic from WestBow and her WestBow girls: Diann, Colleen, Kristin, Denise and me.

The fabulous awards banquet. What a great idea Tracey and the board had to pimp up this event! We’re never going back now!

My take away? Keep writing. Keep serving. Keep loving Jesus. He has some really cool friends!

But, at 4:00 a.m., I wondered why I write. I’m horrible. There are so many with talent out there beyond mine! What am I doing here? I felt dull, flat, uninspired.

Yet, God is so good to revive.

The spring of ’77, I was a young, beautiful, in-love, full of hope lover of Jesus. Almost thirty years later, I find I haven’t changed very much at all.