The Price Of A Cow

I’m at the gym. On the treadmill. Watching the CBS’s “The Early Show.” Ok, reading The Early Show ‘cause I don’t have a headset, so I have to read close caption and not fall off the treadmill. (Sidebar – there was the sweetest, cutest little bird perched on the window frame, sleeping against the window with his head tucked under his wing. So sweet.)

Back to the show. Hannah Storm is interviewing Kate White, Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan. They are discussing dating, and how women can break the chain of dating bad boys and getting their heart broken. The advice is high-level but sound: review past mistakes, ask friends for advice about the guys you date, monitor thoughts and behavior, review if you’re censoring information to your friends, update your man criteria, stuff like that.

Then Hannah says, “What our mothers told us is true… something about why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free.”

I said, “Yes!” All right, finally. Tell ’em, Kate. Keep yer britches on, girls.

Kate (smiling): “Once you get physically intimate and emotionally invested, judgement goes out the window. So the longer you postpone beyond 3-4 date rule, the longer you keep your objectivity.”

What? Postpone the three or four date rule? To what the fifth or sixth date rule? What kind of ambiguous rule is that? Postone until you’re confident the guy remembers your phone number and where you live? Ladies, ladies, ladies. You got it, they want it. Never, ever forget it! You hold all the cards. Kate, you missed a perfect opportunity to say, “Postpone physical intimacy until the guy asks you to marry him and takes his vows!”

That’s how you know what kind of man you have! If he marries you, most likely he doesn’t have committment and intimacy issues. If he’s not calling you, or flirting with other girls, or forgets you like fried clams and orders raw oysters maybe he’s just not into you! So certainly, keep the goods zipped up and move on, find a guy who is into you.

Price of a Cow? One diamond, one wedding, and two “I do.”