Have I had to choose between a dream and a loved one? Yes, no, and all the time. That’s going to need some explaining, isn’t it?
If we’re talking ultimatums from those I love to choose between them or my writing, the answer is no. For starters, my husband could not be more supportive if he tried. He trusts me without question. If I tell the man I feel impressed to do this, or pursue that, his immediate response is to encourage me to move on it—whatever it is. Yes, I do realize what a tremendous gift that is. I’m continually expressing my gratitude to him and to our Father.
No, if there’s pressure put on me to choose between my dreams and my loved ones, it comes from yours truly. I want to share the lives of my grown children and our grandchildren, those four under the age of four blessings who have set up camp in my heart. I want to be available for all of them at the buzz or a text, or the ring of the phone. But, I’ve discovered something about the push and pull of the empty nest.
It’s a wonderful thing to see your kids grow up and turn into people that you admire and respect, to watch them fly away to build their own nests, to see them pursuing their own goals and dreams. But no one ever tells you about this ongoing principle, this natural no-fault part of life with grown children: They won’t need you unless they do.
It’s normal for your kids to have their own circle of friends and their own busy schedules. It’s what you want for them, and for goodness sakes, it’s what they want, too. Misery awaits everyone if we allow ourselves to turn into needy parents demanding time and attention. We must have a life of our own and we must resist trying to relive ours through theirs. And yet, to be involved in their lives will mean that ours needs to be flexible. This is so much easier said than done in our world of deadlines and personal appearances.
On the other end of the spectrum, I want to be able to give my parents the time and attention they deserve for all of the living and loving they poured into mine even as I continue to follow the call that beats in my own heart.
So, have I ever had to choose between the dream and someone I love? Yes, no, and all the time.
It’s a tension that keeps me on my knees asking for wisdom. He alone can lead me in the ongoing decisions, to know when to choose the people I love and when to choose the dreams of my Father that long ago chose me.
Shellie Rushing Tomlinson is an author, speaker and radio host from Louisiana who loves the promise of James 5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it shall be given to you.” You’re invited to her place at http://www.allthingssouthern.com
